Update

So... I just thought I would let you all know: I flunked my midterm- I flunked it hard. I do not think I have failed at anything as horribly as I failed at that test.

But you know what? I am feeling okay with that.

The minute it hit my desk I realized I had spent all my time focusing on the completely the wrong things and my worst fear- having absolutely no idea what I was doing- was about to come true. And so... I just filled in the very (very, very) few answers I knew, walked up to the teacher and said in my little mouse voice of shame, "Hi. Um.... so... I completely bombed this." And after looking at my pathetic attempt and asking where the second page was (there was no second page because I did not even get that far) he looked at me with compassion and said, "Okay. Take this home and work it out with your notes for some extra credit."

It was honestly, really, very, very embarrassing to hand him that paper- I don't fail tests. I get A's.... with a few B's scattered about just to balance me out a little bit. I am not necessarily used to working very hard for good grades but I am still used to getting them. I listen, take notes, do the homework and the learning just... sort of... happens. School has always been relatively easy for me. I am used to being in control of my grades and my time and my life and this entire situation is hard for me. Maybe I should see it as a learning experience.

I briefly considered just walking out the door and not looking back... but I didn't. I faced it- owned up to my failure and humiliation- and guess what? I am still breathing. And my teacher seems to be willing to work with me.

Maybe, just maybe, I will make it after all.

Oh.. and I do not think that I failed my other Latin midterm quite as hard- I am not sure how I did on the discussion question but I aced the translation and I am grateful for that.

It is over now. Regardless of the outcome... it is over. That is a relief.
Latin midterms: check.