Liam Eliot- Day 3

Well, as I am sure you can imagine life has been rather surreal. While we cannot help but wishing for some sense of normalcy... it is almost impossible to remember what the beginning of this week felt like or what "normal" really is. It is so hard to put the events of the last few days into words and I feel like we will be counting time in Liam days for a very long time.

Liam Eliot is still doing very well. He is so tiny- making even the other premmies look huge in comparision, but he is breathing on his own and now taking micro-feedings every four hours. We have heard nothing but good reports. He had a PICC line put in today; although, from what we understand, they weren't able to thread it all the way to his heart but it will still be better for him than having IVs inserted every few days.

It is still difficult for me to look at him and not wish I could take it all away. When we walked into the NICU yesterday, he was crying... and while logically it is a good sign that he has both the strength and lung power to make his feelings known, I just do not think it is fair that he should have to feel discomfort yet. He should still be floating in liquid happiness... Watching him cry is so painful.

I am doing alright as well. The doctor has explained that we are going to be chasing my blood pressure around for the next few days. Last night was pretty rough, with my pressure getting back up to the scary levels that landed us in the hospital in the first place, but today has been much better. I am having the most difficulty keeping my spirits up. It does not look like I will be getting out of the hospital until next week...and then I will be faced with leaving Liam here, which will not be easy. The situation is somewhat overwhelming.

Ryan has been so wonderful through everything. His optomism is keeping me from losing it and he has been so supportive through every little thing- from helping me to use the breast pump to holding my hand as my head buzzes with high blood pressure.

Hopefully, I will get myself together enough to start posting more regularly and... coherently... again. However, until then.. here are some pictures of our little button:

Do you see those big hands?

Just chillin' in his little house... on his b-day.

Wearing his cool shades under the UVs

Ryan found this amusing becuase I sleep the same way.

Perfect- and breathing on his own!