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Faith is a bird that feels dawn breaking and sings while it is still dark.
Rabindranath Tagore

Is it not interesting how the minute you resolve to do (or not do) a certain thing... you are immediately tested?

As I mentioned a couple of posts ago, I decided to stop giving into my fears concerning this pregnancy and Liam's health. Up until today those fears were completely unfounded- I was really worrying for nothing beyond what my own imagination created. And so, as life works, the minute I made the resolution, I have been faced with a real trial.

Today we were told that Liam Eliot is about 10 days behind schedule in growth. The doctor did not seem overly concerned and simply said they would be keeping a close eye on him from now on and asked me to return in three weeks. Of course, he did not say NOT to worry about it either... which I did not notice at the time, but which I now wish I had heard.

I am proud to report that I did not panic. I did not hyperventilate. I did not break down into tears. In fact, I still haven't. Though I have had to fight it back a bit.

I called my mother- who is a wonderful nurse, worked with mother/baby and in hospital nurseries for close to 20 years, and is quite educated about such matters- and asked her to remind me that everything is going to be fine. Which she did. She also reminded me that most people do not see their baby at every visit as Ryan and I have and so many times variations in growth rate would go undetected at such low levels.

I looked up some information... and it settled my mind a little on the matter. Nothing I read made slow growth seem like anything to be scared about- except at extremes. I did see that stress, lack of exercise, and poor nutrition can contribute so I have decided to make these things an absolute priority. And beyond that, I am just going to have faith- in three weeks my precious boy will be all caught up. He is going to be just perfect.

It is definitely a test. I am determined to pass it.
And I will take all the help I can get.