Confession

I have a confession to make.

It is a shameful thing I am going to say... but it must be said:
Ladies and gentlemen... I, Michelle A. Haddock... am not... a coupon-er.

I tried! I really, truly did try! On Sunday afternoon, I sat down in front of the computer with the ridiculous number of coupons I have clipped in the last couple of weeks and went to southersavers.com. I was so excited! We were going to save money- lots and lots of money! I could envision the shopping trips in my mind: going up to the cashier with my neat pile of coupons, watching the dollars fly off the final tab, skipping out the door. I was never going to pay full-price for something I needed again. [There were going to be unicorns and butterflies. It was really spectacular!]

Only... that isn't what happened at all. Not one little bit. Instead I found myself pulling my hair out, biting my fingernails and begging the heavens, "WHY!?! OH, WHY?!" as I stared at a screen and watched the lists morph into foreign symbols my exhausted brain could not understand, while a little troll sat next to me and laughed an evil laugh. Okay.. maybe there was no troll- but I was picturing a troll. Which should tell you just exactly how much of a crazy person couponing turned me into.

After spending literally an hour to track down the right Colgate coupon to go with the right sale at the right supermarket... so that I could get it for a dollar, it suddenly dawned on me- I have ALWAYS gotten toothpaste for a dollar.. because I get it AT THE DOLLAR STORE. And sure, I could get some mustard for free and maybe a blood glucose monitor.. but I have mustard and I have a blood glucose monitor and free clutter is STILL clutter. I do not have a pantry. I do not have a deep freezer. In fact, we are really very limited in cabinet space too.. so buying six boxes of cereal just because I can get it for 33 cents a box just does not work for our family.

Sigh.

On top of this.. I like organic/local far too much to rely on the cheapest prices; just because something is free does not mean I want my family to put it in their mouths. And also, I LIKE TO COOK! I do not want to base my entire week's menu on the fact that I got four packs of chicken thighs for $1.99 a lb. and have to use them this week. I want to be creative- I want to see a recipe I like and get the ingredients and try it out and be happy. And also, time and sanity are both as precious as money goes as far as resources are concerned- both of which I completely lost the minute I sat down to try this couponing thing out.

AND ALSO! I took what little I did get done to the grocery store and spend $31.00 on about half of our week's grocery list. I saved around $10.00 using coupons, which seems cool; HOWEVER, I usually go to Aldi and get way more than half my list (excluding our local/organic purchases) for about $40.00.. so in the end I am probably not going to be saving a penny. Aldi rocks.

Conclusion: Coupons blow. Epic fail.