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>> 8.19.2009

If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack.
- Ann Landers

Today, I am overwhelmed by all I want for our baby boy.

::know that he is loved fiercely and unconditionally.::
::learn to be true to himself- and follow his heart where ever it might take him.::
::be open-minded, kind, forgiving, happy, thoughtful, generous, hopeful, and hones
::find his soul's passion.::

::feel safe, secure and confident.::

::grow strong and healthy.::

::live fully.::

.. and so much more than this.

You know, I sometimes cannot wrap my mind around how blessed I am to have Ryan in my life. There are moments when I look at him and honestly wonder what he sees in me- why he chose me. I am hopelessly mediocre. He is going to change the world... and I am going to have the best seat in the house. He is beautiful. He gives tirelessly of himself. He loves with every ounce of his being. He has a quiet wisdom that astounds me. Creativity pulses through him in ways I can't even begin to understand. I have never known anyone to meet him and not see that something sets him apart.

In the three years that I have known him our lives have been turned upside down more than once and in ways that really could not be considered fair... but he is my hope. He is not perfect and he does not always have the answers.. but he is always constant. He is always loving and gentle. He is always quick to apologize and to forgive. He always listens. He always loves.

Ryan is going to make the most amazing father. It takes my breath away to think of it. He will fill our child's life with love, understanding and magic. He will never judge him harshly. He will never be pushy or over-bearing. He will never lose his temper. And I can honestly say these things with complete confidence. He is going to be an amazing role-model; I do not worry about the kind of man Liam will become if he chooses to emulate his father. Our son is as blessed to have Ryan in his life as I am.

We are both so excited to fill this little boy's life with love, creativity, music, books, adventures, comfort, hugs, kisses, laughter, dancing, memories, and life. I want so much for him already that my heart is bursting with it all.

We know that there will be tears and heart-ache. We know we will sometimes miss the peace we now take for granted. We know there will be days when we feel like tearing our hair out and screaming. We know that we will make mistakes- big mistakes- COLOSSAL mistakes....

But we also know that our love for Liam will be stronger than this. I am a firm believer in the power of that love. There are so many choices a new parent has to make about how to raise their child. Priorities have to be set, values have to determined, and life-altering decisions have to be made... then made again, then made again and again and again as life shifts- throwing you into new situations before you even have a chance to adjust to the old ones.

We are all human. We all make mistakes and we all choose different paths in life; however, if every decision you make is made from your heart out of love for you child.. then I truly believe you can do him little harm.


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