Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho....

>> 1.30.2010

You may or may not have noticed that I am posting less frequently... and there is a reason. There is a reason besides me being lazy, which, I will admit, I am quite capable of being.

Last week, I went back to work.
Let me just say.. It. Has. Been. HARD.

Have I mentioned how much I love my job? Oh, yes.. I believe I have.
Well, let me just mention it again: I have pretty much the most amazing job in the entire universe... taking care of pretty much the most amazing kids in the entire universe, and I would not trade it for anything in the entire world. When I am not at work I miss it terribly and can't wait to return and .. how many people can really say that?

However, I have to admit that I am struggling to find my rhythm this time around. Liam is an entirely different ball game; namely because he is mine. And also, he is quite tiny. And also.. he is quite demanding. And also.. he is mine.

It is much easier to say to a child who you are paid to care for and play with, "I'm sorry, love. But I can't [insert child's activity of choice here that must be done and must be done NOW or a little 2 year old brain may just very well explode] at the moment, I have to take care of your little brother/sister.." who you are also paid to care for and play with, but I am definitely battling some guilt when I have to turn down that game of Go Fish or princess tea-party to feed/change/cuddle my own little bundle of joy. Then I have to battle guilt of a different color when I walk by the room to hear my sweet one- who I do not want to feel another moment of discomfort or pain in his entire life because he has certainly had to endure enough in his short little life, thank you very much- in hysterics, but unable to go in and sooth him immediately because my arms are full of adorable squirming toddler and lunch needs to be made, diapers need to be changed, and noses need to be wiped- and OH, do not get my started on cross-contamination and the constant washing my poor dry, cracked hands have had to endure!

Have I mentioned it has only been one week? It has only been one week. And...to be fair, we survived it. Also, I know that I will settle into a routine soon, and that it will not be long before Liam is a little less fragile and a little more capable of joining in the fun. But, I have to say, it is certainly difficult to be a first-time mom and a care-taker of five simultaneously. Whew.

So I find myself in this unique situation; sort of a hybrid stay-at-home working mom.... and I am only working 2 days a week, but when I get home at the end of those two days I feel like I am about to collapse. So... I now have even more respect for working moms- you women are amazing!!

And I need to know... how do you do it?!

1 comments:

Julia February 5, 2010 at 5:00 PM  

I am so sad to be going back to work soon. Audrey will be in day care 11 hours a day... I dont like it one bit!

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