How Do I Love Thee...

I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.
Author Unknown

There is a good chance that Valentine's Day was created solely for my entertainment. I am wild for all things cheesy.. and, let's face it, Valentine's Day is one of the cheesiest.

Cheesy.. but, oh, so fun.

Today, Ryan and I celebrated with pink frosted cinnamon twists and cuddles watching Netflix in bed until 1:00 p.m. (with baby and puppy to complete the love-fest, of course). It was the perfect day.

However, last night my sweet valentine surprised me with a dinner cruise on the Southern Belle. We got all dressed up, Ryan's parents lovingly came to watch the wee one, and we had a grand time! I have never been on a dinner cruise before... It was quite an experience:

It was a lovely time. The boat was pretty, the views were spectacular, the food was amazing, and the company was entertaining. It was a generally fantastic evening--- deserving of many positive adjectives... and containing just the right amount of cheese.

Happy Valentine's Day, Ryan Lee!
Thank you for a lovely day of love.

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Bringing In The New Year

...as a party of three.

Liam Eliot is home.

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[New Year's] Intentions

In this month's issue of Natural Awakening Magazine ,I read an article that changed the way I view New Year's Resolutions. The article is a tad bit over-the-top in its hippie-ish-ness... even more than my free love self can stomach, but it did make some interesting points.

It asserts that words are powerful. This is something I agree with whole-heartedly... yet I often let my mouth get the best of me: I can be quite the pessimist. As "intenders," the article says, " the key to manifesting anything is to picture the end result from the beginning—to see it as “a done deal,” and then hold that vision in mind until it actually appears in our three-dimensional world."

It also includes Ten Intentions for a Better World that I find fascinating. Like I mentioned, this is ridiculously hippie and you will probably find yourself chuckling at the lingo... but I do hope to employ these concepts.... in my own ways. Perhaps, you will find your own truth in these as well:

The First Intent - Support Life
I refrain from opposing or harming anyone. I allow others to have their own experiences. I see life in all things and honor it as if it were my own. I support life.

In my life, this intention will manifest itself as letting go of judgement this year- to stop criticizing and to love people unconditionally. This is something I never used to have any trouble with, but somewhere along the way I started to get jaded. I am choosing to let it go this year. It is not serving me in any way.

The Second Intent - Seek Truth
I follow my inner compass and discard any illusions that are no longer serving me. I go to the source. I seek truth.

I need to learn to accept truth that frightens me this year. Truth about myself mostly. I can be in denial... or I can face my flaws and work on them. Pretty simple really.

The Third Intent - Set Your Course
I begin the creative process. I give direction to my life. I set my course.

For me, these three aspects of setting your course represent different things:

Beginning my creative process: I have been saying for months [years, even] that I want to learn to sew and knit. Now, I have a sewing machine. I have knitting needles. I have how-to books. I Have. No. Excuses.

Give direction to my life: I am a Mama now. Liam gives me a sense of purpose and direction that I have never felt before.. but feeling is not enough. I have to do. There is so much I want to give to him and I can not do that without a specific direction.

I also need to set a healthier direction for my life: I need to have consistantly healthier eating habits. I need exercise to become part of my daily routine. I need to set a positive example for my family.

Set my course: Having a direction is not enough, you have to put one foot in front of the other and follow those directions. There are many aspects of my course. One aspect is going to be following the Couch-to-5k Running Plan. My friend McKenzie and her husband Matt told me about this plan last night and I looked it up this morning. I think it is great motivation.

The Fourth Intent - Simplify
I let go, so there is room for something better to come in. I learn to trust by lining up with the highest good and knowing that I am guided, guarded and protected at all times. I am open to receive from expected and unexpected sources. I simplify.

This means letting go of some of the commercialism that I have become so accustomed to. I do not need more stuff. I need to let go of some of the stuff I have and de-clutter.

It also means letting go of highly processed foods, refined sugar, and other junk that is cluttering my body with toxic waste. I want to simplify my home and my body- in turn, I want to simplify my spirit.

The Fifth Intent - Stay Positive
I see good, say good and do good. I accept the gifts from all of my experiences. I am living in grace and gratitude. I stay positive.

This is a very difficult one for me.. but probably the most important. Seeing the positive is something I struggle with daily. My mind naturally wanders to the dark side of things. I am often fearful of experiences because I see all that can go wrong. This is not healthy. It is not making me happy. Positive thinking will serve me so much better.

The Sixth Intent - Synchronize
I am in the flow, fulfilling my desires and doing what I came here to do. Allowing beauty to guide me, I step into the present, where great mystery and miracles abide. I synchronize.

From this, I take the "step into the present." I tend to focus so much on the future (often worrying about it more than anticipating it) that I miss the now that is so precious and fleeting. For instance, I have been so anxious to get my little one home that I have wished away the entire first 2 months of his life! I hurry when I should savor and that is something I want to change in myself this year.

The Seventh Intent - Serve Others
I practice love in action. I always have enough to spare and enough to share. I am available to help those who need it. I serve others.

Oooh. What a good one this is! I practice love in action. Serving others is something I am quite passionate about and yet my service is often short-lived because my own needs get into the way. This year, I want to find a place to plug in and be of service. I want to make a commitment to stick to it and not let things get in the way. I also want to teach Liam about serving others. I hope that one day it will be as natural as breathing to him. It brings such an unexpected peace and joy into your life- you are supposed to be helping someone else.. but it often turns out to be an even bigger blessing to you.

The Eighth Intent - Shine Your Light
I am a magnificent being, awakening to my highest potential. I express myself with joy, smiling easily and laughing often. I shine my light.

I think, in one way, this is an extension of positive thinking. I want to be a blessing to people this year. To find joy in life and share it with other. I also tend to be ridiculously shy (though you could never tell from how I blab on this blog)... and I think this can come across as snobby. It is terribly sad because I am not snobby at all. I really do love people. I want to overcome my shy nature. To smile when others frown and maybe, just maybe... turn their frowns upside down! [Oh, yeah... I went there.]

The Ninth Intent - Share Your Vision
I create my ideal world by envisioning it and telling others about it. I share my vision.

For this, I want to invite you to join me. First, in creating your own intentions. You could use this list.. or start from scratch. It can only do good things for you. Because it is an intention and not a resolution... you cannot fail! Small steps toward a greater purpose are still steps in the right direction.

Second, I would absolutely love it if any of you would like to do the Couch-to-5k program with me! I have already solicited my father.. and (although he doesn't know it yet) I am hoping Ryan will join me as well. It would be great if this is something that would help you meet your own fitness goals this year!

The Tenth Intent - Synergize
I see humanity as one. I enjoy gathering with lighthearted people regularly. When we come together, we set the stage for Great Oneness to reveal itself. We synergize.

I am not entirely sure how I feel about the "Great Oneness"... but I do want to remember that people are just people. A person with an opinion I do not agree with is not the devil. He (or she) is not out to get me- to anger me- to make my life miserable. She (or he) is just a person who looked at something in life and came to a different conclusion than I did... and.. That. Is. Okay.

I also wish to spend more time with friends and family this year. Carving out time in my life to have a cup of coffee and catch up with people I care for, to go visit loved ones who live far away, to stay in touch with other human beings. With a new baby at home, I know this is going to be a challenge... but life is too short and relationships are absolutely the most important thing we have. People are too precious to be wasted.

And that, my friends, is that.

Would you like to share your New Year's Intentions with me?

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[Christmas] Wish

to "be the good I wish to see in the world."

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[Christmas] Wish

...to experience the world "God intended to speak before we decided to finish his sentence."

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Advent

...every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it.
Charles Dickens

While I was pregnant I spent a lot of time, as most pregnant women do, wondering how the future would look: How would we interact and relate with our children? How will we respond to their hopes and dreams? How will we respond to their fears and their transgressions? What will it feel like to sit around our family dinner table? How will we spend our time together? What will fill those quiet in-between moments only a family shares in together? What memories will we create? What will our holidays look like? What will our traditions be?

I am looking so forward to carrying on old holiday traditions in our family.. as well as creating new ones of our very own. An article I read recently in Blush magazine (you can read it in their virtual magazine on page 22- pretty neat) planted at least one idea for a new tradition in my mind.

The author of the article is discussing her family's tradition of writing "unwrappable" wish lists. Things like favorite holiday foods you wish to make or places you wish to go, a movie you would like to watch, or an activity you are hoping to do together as a family could be included... or perhaps you are a global thinker (Amy Grant would be proud) and would like to wish for world peace or a cure for AIDS.

I really liked this idea. I absolutely love the holiday season... but, oddly, I can only remember a handful of the presents I received under our Christmas tree. What I remember is... falling asleep in a sleeping bag by the fireplace while watching It's a Wonderful Life, giggling with my brother while we tried to decide who was going to wake my parents up, baking big, soft ginger cookies with my mom, playing in the snow, and going to look at Christmas lights in our new pajamas on Christmas eve.


I have so many of these sorts of memories.. I could not even begin to share them with you all and yet so very few of them have anything at all to do with things.

Everyone is always complaining that the holiday season has become overly commercialized and lost its meaning, but I am not entirely sure I agree. Businesses do their very best to convince us that the holidays are about giving and receiving presents- the bigger (and more expensive) the better. Americans are supposed to love each other in dollar signs because that helps a free market economy stay on its feet, I suppose. But.. it has nothing to do with me or you.. or anything at all, really. I believe that if you take a moment to think about your favorite holiday moments... they will still have very little to do with any particular present.. and even if it does, it was probably more about the moment- the thought that was put into it and the love the surrounded it- than the actually object itself. We just... forget that sometimes.

Our family holidays will end up looking like so much else in our lives- an eclectic mix of various ideas that we have stitched together to create something of our very own. A little Advent here- a little Solstice there- old traditions and new- some gifts made with love, some time spent together... and a few shiny new toys for good girls and boys. No need to get stressed out. No need to go into debt. Simple and Special.

This "unwrappable" wish list is a lovely way to remind ourselves what is important at the end of that proverbial day. So.. I will share my list with you little by little throughout this Advent season, and I hope you will share yours with me in return.

Happy Holidays from our little peppermint twist!

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Gobble.Gobble.

Thanksgiving, after all, is a word of action.
W.J. Cameron

Oh, happy day of gluttony! Wait... you mean there is a meaning behind this day besides gorging oneself on massive quantities of food- turkey and stuffing and pie, oh my!- and then propelling your massive body forward onto the nearest soft surface to watch large men in tight pants give each other concussions over an oddly shaped ball? WHY DIDN'T ANYBODY TELL ME!?!

We have a lot to be thankful for this holiday. A lot, a lot. So much that it would take a thousand words... so... you know what they say about pictures. Here are the things I am most grateful for:

Liam Eliot- my sweet little button [now weighing 2 lbs 15 oz; breathing easy and growing like a weed- well, a very cute weed... maybe a dandelion or something]

We have our own little turkey this Thanksgiving.
And apparently our little turkey is already a great, big ham!
[Another thing to be grateful for. I occasionally get lonely in my hamming. It will be nice to have the company. I don't know how many times I heard my dad say, "Put that tongue away before I rip it off!" Huh... Wow... that is... really violent- I never thought about how violent that was before. You know what, Liam? You stick that tongue out! Wiggle it around a little. Enjoy life! ]

And finally...My boys. I am very, very, very grateful for my boys.



Happy Thanksgiving from the Haddock Clan!

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This is [Still?] Halloween.

Boys and girls of every age
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?

On Saturday, Ryan and I attended the very belated Halloween party of a good friend. He runs a haunt during the actual Halloween season so every year the party happens in November. Ryan generally works in the haunt as well. [I worked in it 2 years ago. It was pretty great.] This year, he was Nurse Abbey (oh, how I wish I had a picture of that to share) though his time was cut a little short by the gremlin's arrival. Since I was deprived of all things Halloween growing up- I tend to soak it all in now. It is great fun.

Because of recent events *cough-unexpectedly having a child- cough* we did not exactly have the time to put a whole lot of thought into our costumes. We usually have a lot of fun with it.

2007:

Sweeney Todd and Nellie Lovett.

My dress was made of AWESOME.

2008:

2008- Alice and the Mad Hatter
[I wish I had a full pic- Ryan looked fantastic!]

And I was effin' sexy! ;-)

Dressing as a woman [well, technically as a man who wanted to BE a woman] for a couple of months made Ryan much more open to cross-dressing. Approximately four days before the party this year... he came up with the idea of going as each other. It was easy. It was fun. It was free. And so.. that's what we did:

Me.. attempting to make a Ryan face. Ryan.. attempting to be short.
We both fail.

I, very depressingly, actually fit into Ryan's clothes.
This picture is now officially my motivation!

Boo!

We had quite a lovely time. It was nice to resurface and see everyone and have a bit of fun. I did not get to take too many pictures but I will share my two favorites with you:

1. Liam's first playmate, Nellie Rose, came along with Mommy and Daddy. She is quite an adorable little pumpkin:
Nellie, in direct and complete contradiction to Liam, knows the art of taking her time. She has been a patient one from the very beginning [ you can read her story here]. She gave her parents some time to be married first, took her time getting here, and is still nice and cozy in her mama's belly. She will be arriving in January (as PLANNED. Ahem. Maybe someone we all know and love that shall remain unnamed, LIAM ELIOT, should take some notes and calm the heck down!!). I love still having an excuse to look at adorable little girl things and we are all very excited to meet her! (The green head to the left is her daddy...not a creeper, by the way.)

2.

Hmm.. looks like Nellie and Liam will have quite a bit to discuss.

In other news: Liam is still looking good today. His spells are relatively minor. His cannula is down to 2.5 liters and 21% (room air). His feedings are going to increase again today. He is 2 lbs, 12.5 oz- a regular little piglet. AND *drumroll please*...... his pinkie toe now crosses over my distal interphalangeal joint!! Woo!

Hooray for 3 good days in a row!

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