grati-tuesday

Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
G.B. Stern

So.. I just have to take a moment to say that my little rock star [who I held yesterday- don't know if I mentioned that at all. It was just this little thing that happened. No biggie.] is 4 weeks old today... and that is amazing to me. On Friday, we will be able to say we are the proud parents of a 1 month old- which is strange because in my head I still label him in gestational weeks [of which he is 33 as of last Saturday].

For the most part, Liam is doing quite well. We have not heard another peep from the yeast infection so the antibiotics are doing their job. He is on room air and his cannula is down to 2 liters which he is tolerating pretty fantastically. He is getting most of his nutrition directly from breast milk now- they cut way back on his fluids and he is not receiving any fats or proteins at all through his IV anymore. His blood sugar has been running a bit low since the switch and he lost 2 oz... but we have been assured he will work it all out. When we call to check on him we mostly just hear about his "behavioral issues" now- he is constantly pulling out his cannula because he can no longer get to his feeding tube; they ran it down his nose because he was forever pulling it out of his mouth.. and his vent is taped quite firmly to his face. So, he yanks on the cannula.. and somehow manages to tie his monitor wires in knots.. and, at one point, propelled himself off his bed and into the crevice between the wall of his isolette and his bed's platform. He is even able to get his head up when he is laying on his belly... which he has no business doing this early.

Man.. I am in trouble.

Ah, well... I will enjoy my little troublemaker. On to my gratitude for the day: today... I am taking a moment to be grateful for... education.

After Liam was born I was pretty sure I would not be graduating in December as planned.. but my professors surprised me by allowing me to do everything from home. Today is a good day to remember how grateful I should be for that opportunity.. or really, just the opportunity to get an education at all because today.. I have to right a 15 page paper and I am not feeling particularly grateful about it.

Going to college has never been easy- academically, it was not a real problem, but financially was another story- and I even had a scholarship! It was always stressful attempting to juggle work (sometimes two jobs- one time 3!) and school. There were many times when I started to wonder how worth it that little piece of paper really was. When I decided to switch my major and tack on an extra few semesters, I often thought about giving up.. and when I got pregnant with Liam... it really called the entire thing into question because the desire of my heart is to stay at home and take care of my family (you can read about that here) and no one was going to ask to see my diploma before hiring me for that job. However, I really am grateful that I was able to go to college... that I have somehow found a second [and third and fourth and fifth... and many more] wind when I felt like giving up.. and that, in spite of recent life events, I have been given the opportunity to cross the finish line.

There is still a light at the end of the tunnel. There is just a 15 page paper, a portfolio, about 73 Latin poem and story translations, a test, another test, and another test... standing in the way. Today, I am grateful for the opportunity.. and I am praying that in a few weeks.. I will be grateful that I am a college graduate!